My husband and I got into a very interesting conversation about equanimity following my last post. He brought up two rather intriguing points: 1 – although everything we need is within, everything we want is without, and 2 – why should we strive for being satisfied with just ourselves when it’s the relationships we build with others that makes mankind great? I thought his observations were astute, and I wanted to take them to the blog.
The notion that everything we want in life is outside ourselves, meaning something we can touch and feel, is commonly accepted. We want money, clothes, chocolate, a good job, a nice car, a lovely home, an attractive partner – these are all things we can put our hands on and feel. We believe that by possessing them we will feel satisfied because they are the things we want the most. But I ask you, is it the possession of them that makes us happy? Or is it the agreement we’ve made with ourselves that we will be happy with them that makes us happy?
This is where the refinement of what it means to have what you need within comes into play. I don’t believe the real desire is the car or the home or the money. The desire is to feel made whole by those things. And when you desire a feeling, that is absolutely something satisfied within, not without. You’re the one who decides how you experience something, whether it’s with joy, with satisfaction, with sadness, or with disappointment. It’s not the object but rather how you react to the object. And you, my friend, are completely in control of that reaction. So truly, everything you want is within, as well.
The second point led to an even more fascinating discussion, but I hope you enjoy a little suspense. Point two to be discussed in a subsequent post.