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Author Topic: people who don't want change but need it, what to do?  (Read 222 times)

Offline elenakokotov

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people who don't want change but need it, what to do?
« on: April 08, 2019, 09:33:31 PM »
Hi everyone,
this is my first time posting here and i'm really excited and nervous.
I've been trying to implement healthy eating habits in my family for the last three years.
And while my husband is willing to cooperate with me when it comes to our kids up to a point, when it comes to him he objects in every possible way. he will not try new foods if it reminds him that it might be healthy. he believes food is for pleasure to be enjoyed and if it's healthy then it's not enjoyable. while his eating habits are not the worst and I did manage to get him to eliminate some unhealthy foods and drinks from his diet there's still a lot more that is still part of his diet.
how do I help a person who doesn't want to be helped to start eating more for health and enjoy healthy foods?   

Offline Nori

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Re: people who don't want change but need it, what to do?
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2019, 09:35:03 PM »
These issues will be discussed and covered in NC107, Nutrition Counseling.  Meanwhile, we advise students to preserve relationships with friends and family and do not offer nutritional advice until asked.  I am certain that you will be able to find tasty ways to incorporate healthy foods into his meals without mentioning it to him. 
Nori M. Hudson, BA, MS
Instructor, Bauman College, Berkeley
Board Certified in Holistic Nutrition by and Registered with NANP
Certified Diet Counselor, Nutrition Educator,  Nutrition Consultant, and Nutrition Teacher through Bauman College

Offline Ashley Bates

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Re: people who don't want change but need it, what to do?
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2019, 03:46:18 PM »
This is an extremely sensitive topic to the individual(s) who do not want to change. yet should. Personally, I am an extremely clean eater and REFUSE to eat anything I don't know and/or DO know it's bad and why. It drives some people around me crazy (boyfriend of 10 years, some family members and friends). THEY often tell me to "Relax and have a cheeseburger and ice cream" when they themselves are unhealthy. No thanks. I know my body and what it needs.

Anyway, for those loved ones around you who need to change their unhealthy habits and refuse to, just give them time and space. If you force it, they will rebel and it will only make matters worse. I've experienced this many times and have stopped pushing it AND talking about it. More often than not, after some time, they will see how healthy your habits are, notice how good you feel and look and want to hop on board. If they don't, you need to continue your healthy habits because it makes you happy, feel good, and look good.
If you have waited long enough and they still don't want to change AND you continue to see their health deteriorating, maybe make healthy food/habits more attractive and fun. I posted the following earlier in my class discussion to a fellow student and thought to share here:
Make it a date night at home! Ask him what he wants for dinner and if he says something conventional and unhealthy, let him have it! But.... make your own healthy version and do a taste test! Make sure yours is off-the-charts good so he likes it better than his version.
I did this with my boyfriend recently with whole chickens. Overall, my boyfriend is healthy but he loves saving money and doesn't like to spend the extra money on organic, grass-fed, pasture-raised foods. I am the complete opposite. When he wanted to smoke a whole chicken in his Green Egg BBG one night, I told him he can buy his conventional chicken and I'll buy my organic, pasture-raised whole chicken and we will see who's comes out the best! We used the EXACT same ingredients and cooking method. To make this long story a little shorter, he told me he would start buying more organic, pasture-raised foods. The organic whole chicken compared to the conventional was out-of-this-world tastier! I already knew this and just laughed at him ;) I was so happy we did this. Makes cooking dinner for each other easier (not making two separate meals every time) but it's also a fun way to have a date night and compare foods! :) Let me know your thoughts!

Offline debbiehart

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Re: people who don't want change but need it, what to do?
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2019, 10:08:08 AM »
Hi, This is also my first time posting, so I wanted to comment on a subject I am familiar with. I can relate to your situation. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I'm a vegetarian and eat fairly healthy. He did not eat so great when we met. He said he appreciated that I did not force my eating issues on him.  Due to some unfortunate health issues with family members, I was able to gently bring up what the research shows, diet is a big cause of many health problems.  In the last year he has made a lot of changes in his diet, less red meat, more vegetables, and just paying more attention to his food intake. So, I think given time, and watching how you eat,  he will change. I think Ashley is correct, if you try and force it, you will not get very far. People don't ever want to feel they are doing the wrong thing.